When my son was young, I tried to implement the best values and manners in my child. I told him that one day he would become an important man that would raise boys of his own and he also would need to teach them to have respect and value for women. During this election year there has been catcalls, rudeness and maleficient treatment towards women. I know I did not want my son to mimic the behavior that this certain candidate has for the female community.
The reality is, just by virtue of being born male, my sons are statistically more likely to have a higher income than their sister, and are less likely to be discriminated against on the basis of their gender. Because of men’s position in society they could bring about this change for women. This meant that I needed to raise my son to grow to be savvy about gender inequality. I needed to make sure he grew up as a feminist!
- Firstly, discuss women’s rights with your child. Talk about how history has portrayed women throughout time and the atrocities that have been bestowed on them. Do this without passing any judgement on any gender or blaming them. Let him know he could be a force for good in the world.
- Be a role model on how to speak to women with respect. Let them know that men have certain subtleties that they use to speak to and about women that may be demeaning. For instance, poking fun of her looks or her appearance. Indicating that she is unable to achieve certain goals due to the fact that she is a woman. And in some cultures, don’t allow your son to talk down to his sisters or comment on other women’s skin color. Let him know we are all unique no matter what our skin color or gender.
- Let him know that all women can achieve success. If you are a mother role model self-belief in your abilities. Talk to him about achievements you have made by being a woman and let him see that women are able to accomplish a lot. Show this by explaining about your successful career as whatever you are as a mother and a student or a business woman or whatever other occupation you have decided for yourself.
- Allow him to express his emotions. Allow your son to express his emotions. Boys are less encouraged to cry because the emphasis is they will be more “sissyish” or resemble a girl. Boys are encouraged to do rather than “feel,” we need to allow our sons to be introspective and we as parents must be able to express how they feel and even let them cry when they feel the need.
- Do not serve your sons. Unfortunately it is common for mothers to do this and I will admit I fall into this trap now and then. Get your son to help around in the house including the cooking. All too often this emphasis is given too much to the daughters. Domesticated boys turn into domesticated men. So include in their list of chores cooking and cleaning as well.
- Champion fatherhood. Get fathers to include themselves in the day-to-day work of parenting that convey to your child that dads matter, too. There must be an emphasis that although domestic work is important for boys dads need to contribute to it too.
- Let feminism open the discussion to other inequalities. Emphasizing feminist ideals inevitably shines light on other inequalities too. You could allow your child to see the unequal distribution of power for African Americans or Latinos as well. Or injustices being created towards people of other races, cultures or creeds.